Artie, Tina, and the Very Potterful Movie Week
by Miss Maggie
Summary: It starts off as a simple idea. Artie proposes having a movie marathon before they attend the midnight release of the first half of the last movie. Tina agrees, and things go downhill from there. Artie/Tina, Tina POV, AU after Sectionals, established duo.
1. Artie, Tina, and the Sorcerer's Stone

******Authors Note: **SPOILERS for all of Glee (through Sectionals) and the ENTIRE Harry Potter series. But I figure you all have probably figured that out by now. :) Still, mentioning it to be better safe than sorry.

Whoa, they're at the beginning this time. A quick note, before we dive in. Timeline-wise, this takes place early in Artie and Tina's junior year, right before the release of the first half of _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. _Pre-established relationship fic. It's fluffy, a little cracky, and it should be fun. If only for the massive amounts of geeking out involved. ;)

* * *

**Friday:**

It starts off as a simple idea. The first part of the last Harry Potter movie is going to be released in a week. Artie suggests watching one movie a day at his house after school, "to sufficiently prepare us for the beginning of the end." I agree, because it sounds like fun.

We waste no time racing to his house after Glee.

"Is the coast clear?" I whisper in an overly-exaggerated fashion, my eyes scanning around the house quickly, checking every nook and cranny for signs of its other inhabitants. Artie laughs at my antics before giving me a thumbs-up sign.

"Good," I say. "If you're going to make me watch these movies, I don't need everyone else making fun of me."

"I just said I couldn't believe you hadn't seen any of the movies yet, Tee." Artie's giving me that mischievous smile, the one that lets me know in a second he's not finished yet.

"You said, and I quote: Tee! You haven't seen the Harry Potter movies yet? That's _sacrilege." _I roll my eyes at him, even as he's pulling out the first movie from the DVD stand.

He wags the case at me in a scolding manner. "I said that you couldn't see the seventh movie until you've seen the rest of them."

I just shake my head and comfortably flop on the sofa, grabbing the remote control. "I've read the books! I liked the books. It's not like I'm living under a rock, Artie."

"Think fast." Artie grins at me before he tosses the DVD case in my direction.

I catch it and grin back at him, even as I'm studying the DVD cover. "You're in charge of popcorn."

"What am I, your waiter now?"

"I agree to spend …how long is this movie anyway?" I stare at the cover, converting the minutes into hours in my head. "Two and a half hours watching this movie with you. Times seven. Over a week. You can make the popcorn."

"Fine." Artie tries to look annoyed, but he's smiling at me. He's laughing under his breath as he wheels himself into the kitchen to get popcorn.

"And soda! Bring soda too!" I yell absent-mindedly over my shoulder in the direction of the kitchen. He yells back something about "only having one lap to carry it all on" but I can't quite hear because I'm fighting with the DVD player, trying to get the menu screen to appear. It takes longer than I want to admit it to (technology and I really don't get along very well), but before long it's set up and I'm wandering back into the kitchen to give Artie a hand.

"Did the DVD player defeat you again this time?" greets Artie, even as he's staring at the microwave.

"…almost," I say, under my breath. I stick my tongue out at his back when he starts laughing at me, then, feeling completely at home, I rummage through the Abrams' fridge until I come up with two cans of soda.

Artie's busy pouring the popcorn into a big bowl when I close the fridge door and turn around toward him. "That's a lot of popcorn," I say, slightly impressed.

"You did say I owed you, and I always repay my debts."

"At least you didn't burn it this time."

Artie's glaring at me, albeit playfully. "That was one time, Tee!"

"One time last week. Two times the week before that, and three times last month."

"You're keeping count of how many times I burn the popcorn?" Artie raises an eyebrow at me, amused. "And here I thought I was the nerd."

I just reach over silently to grab glasses and ice for the soda before heading back to the living room. Artie rolls in behind me a few minutes later and I let him settle in on the sofa first, because I'm planning to watch the movie while using him as a pillow. (I'm not sure he realizes that yet.)

Once he's comfortable, I settle in on my side, letting my head rest in his lap. If Artie minds this, he's not saying anything about it. I feel his arm rest on my shoulder as the movie begins.

"How did I know you'd be doing that, Tee?"

"Because I'm getting predictable?"

"You? Maybe."

I reach up to squeeze the hand resting on my shoulder playfully before settling down to watch the movie. The orchestration is really, really pretty, and soon I find myself quietly entranced in the visuals.

I look up twenty minutes later to see Artie staring down at me. "Um, do I have something on my face?"

Artie chuckles. "I knew you'd like the movie."

"How do you know I like the movie?"

"Well for one, you're quiet." Artie smiles down at me. "I know you're usually quiet, but not with me and never during movies. And two, you haven't moved an inch, except to take popcorn. Normally you're all over the place."

"You mean normally I'm all over you." I smirk mischievously up at him, and the smile grows wider when I notice he's turning red.

"I don't mind that," he finally stammers out, and I blink and quickly reach up to kiss his cheek before turning back to the movie as I'm starting to turn pink.

Ten minutes after that exchange, Artie's rubbing his arm up and down my bare shoulder. I'm wearing a tank top today, and he seems to appreciate my decision. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing before refocusing my attention back to Harry's first meeting with Ron on the screen.

The first flying lesson has me sitting upright for the first time all afternoon. I'm leaning out, staring at the screen, trying to take in the visual and study every last brilliant detail. Artie, who had moved his hand to rest on my hip, just under the hem of my shirt, nearly gets hit by my head because I'm moving so fast.

"Everything all right?" Artie's voice is concerned, but I pay it no mind, because I'm so entranced in the movie.

"It's so pretty," I breathe, letting the rest of the lesson wash over me visually. When the scene is over, I'm half tempted to tell Artie to rewind the film so I can watch it again. (Maybe later.) Instead, I settle my head comfortably back in Artie's lap, and his hand comes back to rest on the bare skin revealed by my tank top. Because it feels good, I resist the urge to comment on it (although I can feel myself blush a little bit as I force my eyes to stay firmly affixed on the screen.)

We remain like that for the rest of the movie, although Artie's hand does slowly inch up along my hip until it's resting along my ribcage. That is, until the movie's climax, featuring the infamous maze of puzzles and traps and other generally unpleasant things. I'm moving upright again so I can watch more closely, but this time I remember to move Artie's hand before I almost give him a black eye again.

Artie chuckles indulgently as I remain sitting up, intently absorbing the rest of the film. When it's finally over, I start humming along to the orchestration as the credits roll. Leaning back against his chest, I move my head back so I'm grinning happily at him.

"So, you liked the movie?" Artie's smiling down at me, looking completely amused. (He already knows the answer.)

Instead of answering, I twist myself around to give him a gentle kiss. When we part, I gently poke him in the chest and grin. "Can we watch the flying part again? You know, when they're first learning to use the broomsticks."

Artie lifts one of his hands and wraps it comfortably in my hair before reaching for the remote. "If you let me watch the DVD extras."

"Not the included documentaries," I say. "I liked the movie, but I can think of more interesting ways to spend the next two and a half hours instead of watching those."

"We could get started on the second movie, Tee."

"I said more interesting ways."

"Like—" Before Artie can finish his sentence, I'm leaning forward to give him another kiss. (This one isn't gentle.) When I pull away, feeling proud of myself, Artie's looking a little dazed.

"Oh."

Before his brain cells can restart, I've swiftly taken hold of the remote control and am re-watching my favorite scene in the movie. When it's over, I smirk and rewind it to watch one more time.

"There was an ulterior motive." Artie's tone is dry, but he's still got one of his hands wrapped up in my hair, so I'm really not too bothered by his sarcasm in the slightest.

"Okay, now we can watch some of your _precious_ special features now," I say with a grin as I hand the remote back over to him. I lean back again comfortably against his chest as we settle in to watch behind-the-scenes featurettes for a little while.

When they're over, a contented silence settles over us. Artie's hand is now massaging my scalp as he plays with my hair, and it feels really, really good.

"I'm glad you liked the movie." Artie breaks the silence, his voice quiet and thoughtful. I'm taken aback slightly by the seriousness in is tone.

"Of course I liked the movie. We have really similar tastes in movies. Besides, what's not to like about magic and mayhem?" I reach out to take his free hand and squeeze it between my own hands. "Were you really worried I was going to hate it? Because you've mentioned this like three times already."

"No," admits Artie. "But it was kinda cute watching you get all into the flying scenes and stuff. Have you always wanted to fly?"

I shrug against his chest. His scalp massage is making it hard for me to think. "It was pretty. I like pretty. Don't call me cute."

"Tee, it was cute." Artie laughs softly and leans down to kiss the top of my head. "So, looking forward to movie two tomorrow?"

"Maybe," I mumble this with my eyes closed, because his hands in my hair is now getting to absurdly distracting levels. "Can't think right now."

Artie laughs a lot more loudly now. "Oh, so the infallible Tina Cohen-Chang apparently goes weak in the knees when someone plays with her hair. I'll have to keep this in mind."

I sigh, utterly content. "I should be worried, but right now, I really don't care."

Artie smirks this time. "Call it payback for your little remote stealing prank from earlier."

"Like you were complaining."

"And you're complaining right now, Tee?"

I laugh and shake my head. "Nope, definitely not." Under my breath, I mutter something about him really liking my hair. He must have heard it, because he immediately pulls his hand out of my hair.

I make a discontented sound in the back of my throat, but then he moves his hands to the sides of my face. I smile at the contact, and twist myself around in his lap so he can kiss me.

When he pulls away, he lets his forehead rest on mine, and our quiet breathing is the only sound in the room. It's sweet, and kind of romantic.

"Can I watch one of the behind the scenes documentaries now, Tee?"

I groan and laugh hysterically as I pull away settle in next to him. "You're impossible, Artie."

Artie winks at me and grabs my hands before I move too far away. "I was kidding." He pulls me into a hug, resting his hands on my hips before reaching over to kiss me again. I'm smiling against his mouth, still laughing at his joke before I happily return the gesture. That shuts the both of us up for a little while, and trust me, there are _no_ complaints on either side.

And yes, later we did watch the documentaries together. (They were pretty interesting, but I'm not going to tell Artie that.)


	2. Artie, Tina, and the Chamber of Secrets

**Authors Note: **It's a bit belated, but SPOILERS for all of Glee (through Sectionals) and the ENTIRE Harry Potter series. But I figure you all have probably figured that out by now. :) Still, mentioning it to be better safe than sorry.

This chapter's for _Euphro_, who gave me invaluable feedback and some wonderful ideas for this chapter (your ideas have been amazing, so credit to you!!), and _Hecate's Rath,_ who also gives me great ideas (and is getting this chapter posted today for her, feel better!!).

* * *

**Saturday**

The second night, we're settled in with _Chamber of Secrets,_ but it's my least favorite book in the series, so I don't have high hopes for the movie. Before long, I'm dragging out Artie's laptop and looking for an online _Which Hogwarts' House Do You Belong In?_ quiz to force Artie to take with me. Artie gets Gryffindor, and I wind up in Hufflepuff. I don't know if I can rock the bumblebee look.

"Hufflepuff? Really?" I sit up, making a face. "It's so …yellow."

"You were the one who wanted to take the quiz." Artie is staring at the TV, his eyes utterly captivated by the beautifully brilliant flying car currently gracing the screen. "You made me take it too."

"But you got Gryffindor! Gryffindor is _cool._" I set the laptop on the coffee table so I can cross my arms over my chest and let my face settle into a pout.

"Hufflepuff is cool." Artie tears his eyes away from the TV momentarily and wraps one arm around my shoulder. "You're cool, so Hufflepuff has to be cool."

"But Gryffindors get all of the best characters," I grumble, leaning into his embrace. "And really, I can't work the bumblebee look at all."

Artie wraps his arm more tightly around me. "Hufflepuffs have Cedric Diggory?"

"Who died."

"Right." He looks a bit sheepish. "What about Tonks?"

"She died too." I frown. "Although I'm still in denial about that one."

"Okay, now you're just being picky."

I make a face at him and wince at the squealing coming from mandrakes currently gracing the screen. "Ugh, so loud." I grimace and put my hands over my ears.

"About as annoying as you expected?" Artie smiles goofily and tugs my hands down from my ears after a minute or two. "Come on, this next scene's funny, you'll want to hear it."

A Howler vibrating through the halls of the Great Hall definitely gets my attention, and Artie's right, it's a funny scene. I watch it with great interest, and when it's over, I settle with my head in his lap comfortably, just like how I watched most of the first movie.

About twenty minutes or so pass in comfortable silence, save for Artie's ever-increasingly sarcastic comments in regards to Lockhart. But the movie doesn't interest me as much as the first one did, and before long, I'm the one breaking the silence.

"So I'm a bumblebee badger and you're a mighty lion with good taste, what about everyone else?"

"Can't we just put them all in Slytherin and call it a day?"

I lightly shove him in the stomach before resting her head back in his lap. "No. Come on, be serious, Artie."

"I am. I'm serious that everyone else in Glee should be in Slytherin."

"Even Brittany?"

"Okay, maybe not Brittany. She's a Hufflepuff." Artie lets his fingers rest on my shoulder as they tap lightly on my skin.

I make a contented humming sound before I reply. "I'll have company at least. Okay, how about Rachel?"

"Slytherin." Artie's tone leaves no room for debate, and I laugh.

"I'll agree with that one," I say, letting my eyes flicker back to the TV screen. "Finn?"

"He can be in Gryffindor." Artie's hand drifts down my shoulder to wrap around my stomach. "Since you seem determined I not let everyone get sorted in Slytherin."

I give his hand a gentle pat with my own. "Kurt?"

"Slytherin."

I laugh, but shake my head. "No way, Ravenclaw."

"Make it a mash-up and call it a night."

"Slytherclaw?" I smirk at Artie and poke his hand. "Okay, fine. Mercedes?"

"Hufflepuff."

"I thought Gryffindor," I say, my tone surprised. "I guess either one might work?"

"Gryffinpuff," is the sarcastic response. "Or maybe Huffledor?"

"Ew." I make a face and shake my head. "Okay, Quinn?"

"Slytherin."

"You're predictable." I snort, but bite my lip, thinking about it carefully. "I might've agreed a few weeks ago, but I really think she might be better in Ravenclaw now."

"Whatever you say." Artie tightens his grip around my waist and gently squeezes my side.

"You could play along," I whine. "Okay, fine. How about Matt?"

"Hufflepuff."

I smile up at him. "See, was that so hard now?"

"Yes, yes it was." Artie attempts to give me a pained look, and I roll my eyes up at him.

"Mike?" I poke Artie gently in the stomach, even as I lean up to give him a chaste kiss.

"Ravenclaw."

I shrug. "Okay. That could work. So we've got just Puck and Santana left, right?"

"Slytherin and Slytherin." We say it in unison, both of us grinning happily as our eyes meet.

"There's no room for debate on that one." I laugh, definitely agreeing.

Artie grabs my hand and pulls me back into his lap once the laughter dies down, I bite back sarcastic comments and rest my head on his chest to resume the Harry Potter marathon, already in progress.

"Polyjuice potion." Artie says, poking me in the side of my arm. "Wouldn't that be so _cool?_"

"Why? Interested in taking on a second identity?" I rub my arm where he'd poked it, giving him a little jab in his stomach with my elbow.

"Like you wouldn't like to change your identity and sneak into places you shouldn't be?" Artie takes a lock of my hair and gives it a gentle tug. "Come on. We could so sneak into the White House and figure out if all those conspiracy theories were true."

"Good luck getting rid of the president for a few hours," I tease back, this time lightly hitting him in the shoulder. "I'd rather fly. Or have a flying car. The sci-fi movies _promised_ we'd have flying cars by now. I feel jilted."

"Were you a bird in a past life, Tee?" One of his hands is around my waist, and the other is now buried in my hair again. "You sure seem obsessed with flying. I never knew, but I will have to keep this information filed away for future reference."

I smile at the familiarity of the situation, at how _comfortable_ it is, before I reply. "I dunno. Maybe I just like heights." I shrug into his embrace and try to focus on the movie again. "Why is _Chamber of Secrets_ so slow?"

"Because it sets up stuff for the last couple of books, movies, the end of the series." Artie's hand twitches around my waist. "It's call plot development."

"Lame." It comes out half-heartedly, though, and it soon settles back into a comfortable silence. (Except for the adventures of Harry and his friends.)

The second late night trek into the Forbidden Forest soon scrolls along the screen, indicating the climax of the film is near. It looks creepy and dark and mysterious all at once, which of course, makes me consider this the most entertaining part of the movie yet.

"I so wish I could go hang out in the Forbidden Forest," I say, admiring the lighting and the appropriately creepy vegetation. "It's just so foreboding."

"Why am I not surprised?" His tone is sarcastic, but Artie's body is tensing up against mine once Aragog and his spider minions appear on the screen.

"Don't they look awesome?" I gush, taking in the grotesque appearance eagerly. "It's wicked."

Artie is far less amused than I am. "They're spiders, Tee."

"So?" I try to figure out what the problem is, and ultimately fail. "It's part of the charm of the Forbidden Forest! Man-eating spiders that look freaking awesome, and I wonder if I can take pictures? It'd be so cool to visit the forest when it looks all gloomy like that."

"Why am I not surprised you find the Forbidden Forest the most appealing part of this whole movie?" Artie sighs and rubs his hand along my forearm, but soon enough, he's holding onto it tightly.

"Because I'm a goth?"

"You are the least Gothic goth I know," Artie replies dryly. "Not that that's a bad thing, Tee," he quickly adds, anticipating my reaction.

"I'm also the only goth you know," I add conversationally, while elbowing him in the stomach lightly.

"That hurt, Tee," he grumbles, but there's no malice in his tone—it's more like playful indignation.

Considering the place I elbowed him was mostly solid muscle mass, I'm sure he'll be all right. "I like dark stuff sometimes. It's interesting. Complex."

His grips his nails into my forearm slightly, and my eyes glance up to study him carefully. "What's wrong? Scared of the spiders or something?"

My suggestion had been meant as a joke, but the way he tenses up against my body again makes me realize that he's definitely not taking it as a joke. I reach up to take his hand, momentarily surprised to see it's a bit white around the knuckles. I rub it gently between my own two hands, trying to figure out something a bit more compassionate to say instead of the next sarcastic quip on the tip of my tongue.

"Hey, it's all right if you are," I say, continuing to rub his hand gently. "You're still the bravest person I know."

"You must not know many people then," he says, but his free hand works its way back into my hair, and I give an appreciative little sigh as he begins to massage my scalp.

"You're trying to distract me," I mumble, closing my eyes as a ripple of pleasure and relaxation flows over my body.

"Is it working?"

I catch the hope in his tone, but also the stress, so I (reluctantly) pry my eyes back open and squeeze the hand of his I'm still holding in my own. "I know just enough people. And you definitely are the bravest of them all."

"Thanks," Artie manages to mumble it out with a small squeak in the middle.

I grin, knowing that his ears are probably pink right now because of the unexpected compliment. "And there goes the car. It was pretty fierce, that car."

"It's a wild flying car. Why am I not impressed you'd find it enjoyable?"

"Maybe because I'm getting predictable?"

"You? Predictable? _Never_." Even though I can't see it, I _know_ Artie's rolling his eyes at me.

"But it'd be fun to fly around in the car. Or on brooms."

"You're crazy."

"So are you." I elbow him in the stomach again. "Come on, I'd need a partner."

"You're still crazy." Artie says dryly. "Anyway, I think you'd at least need a regular driver's license first.

"Harry and Ron were both twelve and driving it," I point out conversationally. "Did you lose your sense of adventure somewhere?"

"Better safe than sorry." He gently kisses the side of my neck. "But I'd go with you. Even if you are crazy."

"I'd need a sane person on board with me," I pause and wait a beat. "But you'll do."

"Are we settling now?" Artie smirks and pokes me in the side again. "I thought you were the one who said I needed to obtain a sense of adventure?"

"You can borrow some of mine. I hear I have an overabundance of sense of adventure."

He laughs at my comment, and I can feel the vibrations in his chest. This makes me smile.

Artie rests his chin on my shoulder, turning his attention back to the movie. "Okay, slip of paper obtained from Hermione's stony hand. How on earth did Harry figure out to check there?"

"I think it was mentioned in the books. Maybe." I shrug.

"The things that get condensed for the sake of a movie. Don't get me started on the next one."

"Oh?"

"But that's tomorrow. Tonight, _Chamber of Secrets_." He gestures toward the TV set, and scoffs when Lockhart appears on the screen.

Together, we're both taken in by the thrilling end of the film. I'm admiring the basilisk most curiously, and Artie lets out a smirk of approval when Lockhart gets duped by Ron's faulty wand. We both definitely enjoy seeing the diary go down in a hideous display of poisonous fang. Soon though, the film winds to a close, and I appreciatively start humming along to the end credits music while Artie keeps time by tapping his fingers on my shoulder.

"I want a basilisk," I say, once the title menu of the DVD pops up on the tv screen. "He was actually kind of cool, the one in the movie. Misunderstood."

"As long as you don't let it kill anyone and remember to feed it, sure why not?" Artie says sarcastically. "You're something else."

"What? It wasn't the basilisk's fault," I reply. "It's not like he chose to have crappy death-o-vision."

"My girlfriend," he quips, "_would _consider man-eating spiders and the basilisk the most entertaining parts of the movie. Are you Hagrid's long lost cousin?"

"They're just _cool,"_ I say, knowing I'm doing a horrible job of defending myself. I cross my arms over my chest and twist myself around so I can glare at him. Eventually, I can't help it; I start smiling at him, then giggling. "Okay, so what about the third movie?"

Artie rolls my eyes at my less-than-subtle attempt to change the subject. "Ah, tomorrow. Wait and see."

"Tease."

But then Artie leans in to kiss me and I decide he's really not all that much of a tease after all. (And I'm _definitely_ looking forward to tomorrow night. But he doesn't need to know that. Yet... although I think he might already know.)


	3. Artie, Tina, and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It's a bit belated, but SPOILERS for all of Glee (through Sectionals) and the ENTIRE Harry Potter series. But I figure you all have probably figured that out by now. :) Still, mentioning it to be better safe than sorry.

**Authors Note: **Hah! I haven't given up on this fic! (Don't look at me like that. I've been busy!) But I do want to get it done by the time Glee returns. I think this is totally feasible. Wish me luck!

* * *

**Sunday**

During a quick trip to the mall during the day before we get together to watch the third movie that night, I find a stuffed owl that looks just like Hedwig. I bring it over that night, excited by my find. Artie is less than amused.

"It's adorable," I say, ignoring my boyfriend's scowling face. "And it looks just like Hedwig!"

"Trust you to find the geekiest stuffed animal ever," he says, pouting at me from his spot on the sofa. "I didn't even think you liked stuffed animals, Tee."

"But it's Hedwig!" I exclaim, scooting next to him on the sofa with it in tow. "It's a life sized stuffed snowy owl. How is this not cool?"

"Does it have to sit in your lap?" Artie whines, shooting me a disappointed look.

"Is that what this is about?" I ask, holding back a laugh. "You're upset because I'm not sitting in your lap."

Artie immediately turns pink. "No. Of course not," he says, entirely too quickly for it to be believable.

"It is!" I start laughing, amused. Then I set the Hedwig Lookalike on the coffee table before scooting in closer to my boyfriend. I reach for the Oreo cookies on the end table and offer him one. "I come bearing cookies?"

Artie glares at me playfully before accepting the offered treat. "You think you can get your way by giving me cookies? Oreos are your thing, Tee."

"Because they are delicious," I reply, helping myself to one, wolfing it down in a single bite. "Yes. I know. No comments, please."

"Why would I comment on the fact that you eat them like a pig?" Artie snickers and wraps his arm around my shoulder tightly. "Miss Piggy."

I roll my eyes, not offended by his comment in the slightest. "That would make you Kermit the Frog, and do you really want that?"

"_It's not that easy being green, having to spend each day the color of the leaves," _Artie starts singing, amusing me to no end.

I join in. "_When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold, or something much more colorful like that_..."

Together we finish making our way through "It's Not Easy Being Green" and giggling, I lean in even more closely next to him on the sofa. "You're the best," I say seriously.

"Yes, Miss Piggy," teases Artie, his hand moving from where its resting on my shoulder up to play with my hair. "Let's get the movie started, what do you say?"

"Okay. This is the one you don't like that much, right?" I ask, moving the Hedwig Lookalike back into my lap. "It's pretty different from the book, right?"

Artie makes a face. Whether it's about the movie or the Hedwig Lookalike's reappearance in my lap, I'm not sure. (It's probably a combination of both.) "You'll need to see it for yourself before I let my bias show."

"Too late," I say, reaching for the TV remote. "But let's get his party started, shall we?"

Artie laughs and we settle into start watching _Prisoner of Azkaban._I reach for the popcorn, eating a bite of it until I notice my boyfriend's slightly annoyed expression out of the corner of my eye. "You can have the popcorn too, if you want?" I offer him the bowl.

"It's not about the popcorn, Tee," he says, but helps himself to a handful anyway. "I'm just not a fan of this movie, that's all.

"You must really not be a fan," I say, curling up closer to him. "Okay, what's your gripe with the movie?"

"Lupin doesn't have scars in the book, for one." Artie points to the TV screen. "You think that horrific scars like that would have been _mentioned_ in the text. Besides, he's kind of old."

"Old?" I bite back the urge to giggle, mostly because Artie's expression is so very serious. "I mean, didn't his condition kind of prematurely age him in the books?"

"Tired is not the same as old," grumbles Artie. "And still. Just no. That is not Lupin."

"Okay, fine," I say. "Do you have any other gripes with this movie that you'd like to get off of your chest before we continue watching it?"

"Well, now that you mention it," he says, "I'm not sure I love all how fast and loose they played with the storyline. It looks pretty sure, but what about the plot?"

"I'm glad I read the book first. Several dozen times. Because I'm sure I'd be kind of lost right now if I hadn't," I admit. "But... whoa, is Hermione wearing _pink?"_

Artie grimaces. "Yes. See my point?"

"Well," I defend, "it is at least a very pretty movie. The dementors are especially creepy."

"Trust you to like the dementors."

"You've known me for how long now?" I laugh and lay my head down into his lap. His hand immediately comes down to run his fingers through my hair. I hum appreciatively.

"True," Artie says, "but your affinity for the dark and the creepy is somewhat stereotypical sometimes. And you're often anything but."

"Nice save." My tone is approving. "But I find the dark creepy stuff fascinating. The dementors are really, really creepy. But also mysterious. What's it like to suck the soul out of something? What do souls taste like? Are they depressing? Is it depressing? Does that make them so dark and creepy and disturbing?" I cuddle the Hedwig Lookalike up to my chest and bite my lip, thoughtful. "They're fascinating," I repeat.

Artie shakes his head at me and grins. "I knew you were something else, Tee. Only you could feel sorry for dementors."

"I am not sorry for them. I am intrigued by them." I scoff.

Artie's hand stills in my hair and I glance up at him. "What?" He tugs at my collar, so I sit up, giving him a confused look. "Wha--" I go to repeat, but then he's leaning forward to kiss me, and I don't get to finish my sentence.

The kiss ends after a minute, and he's grinning goofily at me (the shy dorky sweet smile that always manages to make me weak in the knees.)

"That ...was nice," I manage after a minute, trying not to wince at how lame it sounds in my head. "Any reason?"

"You're my girlfriend and you're awesome." Artie shrugs. "That's reason enough. I _can_ kiss you whenever, right?"

"Sure you can," I reply, giggling. "I'm just ...amused? You're strange."

"You're stranger," says Artie, without missing a beat, and that gets us both laughing hysterically.

We settle back into watching the movie for a little while after that. Artie's head is in my lap now, and Hedwig Lookalike is hanging out next to me while I trace idle designs on my boyfriend's shoulder.

"So," I say breaking the comfortable silence. "You apparently have a thing for Lupin?"

Artie's blushing; I can feel his face heat up in my lap. "Yes?" he says, unsure.

"Does this make me your Tonks?" I ask casually.

"It depends. Are you going to cut your hair short and dye it pink, Tee?"

"Are you going to turn into a werewolf, Artie?"

"You could probably rock pink hair, you've already got the bright streaks down," adds Artie, studying me intently. "But I kinda like your hair long."

"Good, 'cause I like my hair long too. But not pink." I poke him in the shoulder and continue. "Well, at least you've already got the nerdy professor look down like Lupin does."

"Hey!" Artie gives me a teasing glare. "I do not dress like Lupin."

"You're right, I stand corrected. He wears far more tweed than you do," I admit.

"Do you have a thing for tweed?" jokes Artie. "I could totally rock more tweed if it'd work for you."

"How generous," I say dryly. "No. Your current dorky look works very well for me right now. And for you, which is what matters most. You totally rock the white button downs."

Artie's blushing again, and I smirk before turning my attention back to the movie. I rest my head on Hedwig Lookalike, using it as a very comfortable pillow.

"Well." Artie breaks the silence this time, a little while later. (He's right, the movie isn't terribly true to the book at all, and my attention span is just as flaky as his is tonight, so I really don't mind the interruptions.) "Tonks and Lupin died at the end, so I suppose it's good we're not them, huh, Tee?"

"You're right," I agree. "I much prefer being living, breathing Artie and Tina. Although I'm still in denial about their deaths."

"How can you be in denial?" Artie raises an eyebrow.

"I'm convinced they chose a really horrible time to take some Draught of Living Death," I say, grinning at him. "It's a hidden scene from the book. Clearly."

Artie rolls his eyes at me, convinced I'm crazy, but hey, whatever works for us. "You're really strange, Tee."

"Yeah, but you're stranger." I giggle and move to take his hand in mine.

He squeezes our interwoven hands affectionately, and quiet settles over us again as we turn our attention back to the film again. The rest of the movie passes that way, in a companionable silence, occasionally broken up by snorts of disbelief from Artie, because he _really_ does not care for this movie.

"I guess this was your least favorite movie?" I say dryly as the end credits roll. I hum along to the music while waiting for his reply.

"What'd you say, Tee?" Artie's voice is groggy, like he's just waking up.

"No wonder it was so quiet for the last twenty minutes. You fell asleep!" I laugh, because I'd been wondering how my snarky comments had gone undetected.

"Er. Yeah," admits Artie sheepishly. "I just... yeah. Not my favorite movie."

"That's okay," I say, running a hand lazily through his hair (his head is still in my lap). "Second movie wasn't my favorite. Although I can see why this one bothers you. Especially with what they did to Lupin."

"Yeah," Artie says. He sits up and I immediately rest my head on his shoulder, letting Hedwig Lookalike settle back into my lap. He scowls at the toy. "You really like it, don't you?"

"It's different. I like different." I shrug and move my head a little so I can kiss his cheek. "I agreed to date you after all, right?"

"You were the one that asked me out," corrects Artie.

"Oh! Right." I laugh. "Well, still, I asked you out for a reason. Mostly because you're different. Strange. It also helps that you're pretty," I add, feeling playful.

"Must you call me pretty?" Artie makes a face at me.

"I let you call me cute. I get to call you pretty," I explain. "Unless you want me to start glaring at you for using the word cute again?"

"You're more than cute, Tee. You're beautiful," Artie blushes, but keeps talking. "Because you're taken with a stuffed owl and believe Tonks didn't die and you are strange and ...well, you're beautiful, Tina."

I'm momentarily stunned speechless. Not in a bad way, but in a my-boyfriend-is-being-adorable way. I blink in a vain attempt to jumpstart my brain, then I lean forward to give him a quick, chaste kiss. When it ends, I've remembered how to smile again, and I grin at him happily. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Artie's blushing just as bad as me, but his smile is very smug. (I can't say I mind it all that much.)

So I do what any sensible girl would do in that situation, and I lean in to give my boyfriend a kiss, making it very clear just how much I care about him. And he kisses me back. And so on and so forth, until a single kiss becomes a full-fledged makeout session, complete with hand-under-shirt action. (Neither of us are complaining very much about this. At all.)

When we break apart later, we're both breathing heavily and smiling dazedly at each other. I smooth down my wrinkled t-shirt and Artie starts buttoning his shirt back up.

"That was a lot better than the movie," I say, my voice dreamy and slightly distracted.

"Definitely," agrees Artie.

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_Reviews are love, like all of you. Love!_


	4. Artie, Tina, and the Goblet of Fire

**Authors Note: **SPOILERS for all of Glee (through Sectionals) and the ENTIRE Harry Potter series. But I figure you all have probably figured that out by now. :) Still, mentioning it to be better safe than sorry.

I don't love this chapter... yes, I know. But I've edited it for a couple days now and toyed with it and just... I'm having more fun writing chapter five, but in order to post chapter five, chapter four has to come first. Silly chronological order. :P Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!

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**Monday**

"Do you know your last name is the same as Cho Chang's?" is the first word out of Artie's mouth during _Goblet of Fire._ I'm less than amused, especially when he starts calling me "Cho Chang" all evening long.

"Cho Chang, can you pass me the popcorn?" Artie asks me conversationally as Harry and his friends roam around the Quidditch World Cup.

"Sure thing, Harry Potter," I say, handing over the popcorn bowl with a smirk of my own. Two can play at this game of his.

"Touché," replies Artie, and he grins at me. "But you look way more like Cho Chang than I do like Harry Potter."

"Can I call you Remus Lupin then? You're at least a match for his personality," I tease back.

"Am not," grumbles Artie, but the protest is weak at best.

"Sure." My tone is disbelieving at best. "You don't have a martyr complex and an overzealous desire to be noble. Nope, not at all."

Artie gives me a serious glance. "Tina..."

"I'm just saying," I reply, tucking my legs under me and reaching for Hedwig Lookalike to cuddle. (Artie glares at the owl. Again. I sense a pattern.) "You did say I should date someone less broken, did you not? And didn't Lupin say something nearly similar to Tonks in Book 6?"

"Yes, but we're on four now," grumbles Artie, desperate to change the subject. "Save your Tonks meta commentary for the next movie, please. And hey, Cho Chang, this movie's got Cedric in it."

"Hooray. A bumblebee Hufflepuff," I reply dryly. "You're something else, Artie. But back to my point. You're either Harry Potter or Remus Lupin. I vote Lupin."

"Because your opinion is not biased in the slightest," mumbles Artie under his breath.

I laugh and slide myself down the sofa so we're sitting right next to each other, and I take his hand in mine. "Artie, relax. We're dating because we both want it, right?"

"Right," says Artie. He gives me a grin. "The parallels are well. Too much sometimes. I think. But you can all me Lupin if it makes you feel better."

"Yeah, and you're the one calling me strange." I giggle and throw a piece of popcorn at him. To my amazement, and amusement, he catches the piece in his mouth. I take this as an open invitation to throw another. Which quickly turns into me throwing about a dozen more pieces at him. He catches most of them, and I am definitely impressed.

Before I can comment, he's throwing all the pieces he didn't catch in his mouth back at me. "Artie!" I squeal, not even bothering to try and catch them with my mouth.

"You started it." He smirks at me. "Cho Chang."

I roll my eyes and start tossing more popcorn his way. Artie retaliates by dumping the almost-empty bowl on my head. I retaliate to that by pinning him to the sofa cushions.

"Movie?" Artie gestures to the TV screen.

I give him an exceptionally disbelieving look. "Seriously?"

"No."

Later, much later, thank you very much, I reach to unpause the movie. "Stop looking so smug," I reply absently as I curl back up to watch.

Artie rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Stop reading my brain then, Tee."

"It's far too late for that," I reply with a shrug as I turn my attention back to the movie. "I've known you for how long now? You'd better expect some brain reading after that much time spent together."

"You're a bright cookie, Cho Chang." Artie's hand starts playing with the ends of my hair.

I grin. "So, can you like stop calling me Cho Chang? I know the similarities are startling, but isn't she like the single most hated character in Harry Potter fandom, ever? Somehow I'm not too sure I love being nicknamed after her."

There's a long moment of silence (except for the movie playing in the background) before Artie responds. "You know about Harry Potter fandom?"

"I read?" My voice is a bit too high for my excuse to be believable.

"If by read, you mean participate," concludes Artie, his expression growing smug. "You're in Harry Potter fandom?"

"Am not!" I defend. "I'm just... um, curious."

"Nerd. My girlfriend is a nerd. A really hot, beautiful, amazing nerd, but a nerd." The smug expression on Artie's face definitely won't be leaving anytime soon.

"Oh, coming from you, I know that's the most sincere compliment that you can ever give me." I kiss his cheek gently. "Thanks, Artie. You're pretty awesome yourself. You know. For a geek."

"Gleek," he corrects.

I roll my eyes again. "Whatever."

Artie shifts so he's resting his head on my shoulder. "And you're strange."

"But you're stranger," I finish easily. "So, considering that we've pretty well established our reputation solidly in the socially awkward department, does that mean we can attend the midnight release of movie seven's first half before spending the rest of the night debating it hotly in an all night diner?"

Artie laughs. "That was a given, of course. It's gonna be the most epic date night ever."

"Are you implying that all our dates aren't epic?" I poke him in the side teasingly.

"Well, they are," he agrees. "And we are pretty epic ourselves. I just mean it's going to be more epic than usual."

I nod. "Well, at least until the second half of movie seven comes out into theaters."

"Absolutely."

Satisfied, I kiss Artie's cheek and turn my attention back toward the movie again. "So. Are we getting near the part where Cedric dies?"

"No," replies Artie. "Dragon chasing."

I smile and take note of the Norwegian Ridgeback gracing the screen in front of me. "The dragons look pretty awesome. All fiery and fierce."

"You're totally something else." Artie chuckles in amusement. "Do you like anything at all that would ever traditionally be considered cute?"

"Well, I kind of like cats?" I shrug. "But I think they're more regal than cute."

"That hardly counts."

"Sorry, I'm trying here." I bite my lip and think. "I like Emily the Strange? But she's not cute. And Happy Bunny is more sarcastic than sweet. And uh. Nope. I'd rather have a spider than a baby chick."

"You are the oddest girl I've ever met." Artie shakes his head at me and keeps playing with the roots of my hair.

I grin at him, and lean closer into his side. "I don't mean to be. I just kind of ...am," I trail off, unsure of how to say it.

"It makes you... well, you," he says sincerely. "You wouldn't be you otherwise."

"Just like you wouldn't be you if you weren't a ridiculous nerd?"

Artie attempts to look offended. "A nerd? We're now down to passé insults, Tee?"

"You do remember my name!" I put on an exaggerated smile. "Well, you've been calling me _Cho Chang_ all evening. That is a pretty good example of nerdiness right there, you know?"

"Cho Chang fits the spirit of the evening far better," he explains simply. "It doesn't necessarily make me a nerd."

"It does." I lean my head back against the sofa, stifling a yawn. "Of course, I never said I didn't like it."

"I'd rather hope you liked it," says Artie in reply. "Otherwise what we're doing right now would just be awkward and weird."

"Ha," I add, my tone dry. "And what we're doing right now is fine. What we were doing way earlier this evening would have been the really weird and awkward part."

His gaze narrows at me over the top of his glasses. "You know what I meant."

"Yeah, well, maybe I did. I did call you Harry Potter and Remus Lupin, so I mean, come on. We're both pretty dorky. You can be the geek, though."

"Geek?" Artie snorts. "I thought we decided on gleek instead."

I snort back. "You did. Because you're a geek. I didn't. Exactly."

"Are we seriously debating the differences between geeks, nerds, and dorks?"

"We weren't. We were more or less insulting each other instead." I chuckle. "Yeah. We're hopeless. And not paying attention to the movie at all anymore, are we?"

"I am. Sort of," replies Artie. We're at the Yule Ball. See? There's Hermione in her ruffly pink dress."

"What?" My jaw drops open as I stare at the television set curiously. "More pink? But wasn't it like... light blue in the books?"

"Periwinkle," admits Artie after a moment's hesitation.

I snort. "Should I be overly concerned that you know what particular shade of blue it is?"

"Um."

"But oh, there's Cho. Pretty dress," I admit. "It's too ...creamy for me, though. I'd rather see some color."

"Yes," replies Artie, latching onto the distraction eagerly as he toys with a blue strand of my hair. "You and your penchant for bright bursts of color."

"I love color," I admit. "The black just helps better accent it. Or something. Because the black is pretty cool too. And so are the keys. And the skulls and the safety pins. And stuff."

"You and your highly technical stuff." Artie rolls his eyes and secures his arm around my shoulders once more. "But I guess it's a good thing that you like what you wear."

"Yeah, especially since I have to wear something."

Artie wiggles his eyebrows and bites his lip nervously. "Well, I wouldn't exactly complain if you didn't."

It takes a second for the implication behind that statement to sink in. "Hey!" I squeak, surprised.

"Teenage guy, Tee." Artie's at least blushing a little, and I'm sure I am too.

"Maybe one day," I say breezily, trying to sound light and casual.

I hear Artie swallow thickly. "Oh?" he says, his voice cracking. He coughs before trying again. "Oh?"

I feel my face growing even hotter. "Uh. Yeah. Why not? Someday."

"Ah, okay. Yeah, someday," agrees Artie quickly.

An uncomfortable silence settles over the two of us. I pick at a loose thread on my favorite pair of ripped jeans, not sure what to say to break the tension in the room.

Artie finally breaks it after a moment, saving me from the awkward job of doing it myself. "I ...uh, what scene are we on again?"

I roll my eyes. "Ha, ha, ha."

"Oh come on, Tee. You know you like it."

"Yeah." I agree easily. "Sure do."

"Good."

Artie shifts, and after a few moments, we're moved around so his head is resting in my lap, and my hands are threading through his hair idly. "Why are the Harry Potter movies so long," I grumble good-naturedly.

"You've seen the books, right?" Artie says dryly. "The books themselves are roughly the size of a door stop. Apiece."

"I've read the book," I poke him in the forehead gently. "But the movies just aren't as good."

"Spoken like a true nerd who likes to abuse her boyfriend."

"Artie," I whine. "Be nice."

"You call me a nerd," he points out.

"Okay, truce?" I hold out a hand to Artie, pinkie out.

He obligingly links his pinkie in mine. "Truce," he agrees as we squeeze our fingers together.

We both manage to pay attention to the movie when the hedge maze scene begins, and the deception of the graveyard is delightfully spooky. Artie holds my hand, squeezing it gently as I take in the scene where Cedric dies. He even goes so far as to pat my knee gently when I manage to look surprised.

"Oooh, epic," I manage under my breath.

Artie nods. "You've got that right," he agrees. "The climax of the fourth movie is pretty good."

"Yeah, but now? Is the movie over yet?" I glance over at the television, where the credits are rolling obligingly. "Yes! It is. Let's go get ice cream."

"On a school night?" Artie grins at me. "What a rebel, Tee."

"Yeah yeah." I wait until Artie gets into his chair, then I grin and kiss him happily on the cheek. "You know you like my crazy ideas."

"And this crazy idea involves ice cream. What's not to like?" replies Artie agreeably. "You do plan to share with me, right?"

"No, I'm going to hog all the ice cream to myself. Of course I'm sharing."

"Just checking," replies Artie. "I've seen you and ice cream."

"Ha," is my witty retort as we head down the street to our favorite ice cream shop. "Ha, indeed."


	5. Artie, Tina and the Order of the Phoenix

**Authors Note: **So! SPOILERS for all of Glee (through Sectionals) and the ENTIRE Harry Potter series. But I figure you all have probably figured that out by now. :) Still, mentioning it to be better safe than sorry.

Only a day late on my self-imposed deadline this time, go me. I'm trying to get this story done before Glee comes back. LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. Also, Script Frenzy starts in 50 minutes. And there's a month left of term. HELP!! (But _How to Train Your Dragon_ was pretty awesome. Go see it.) Also, Emilie Autumn is pretty odd. And awesome... and right up Tina's alley, y? I think so.

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**Tuesday**

The fifth movie makes the costumes look really pretty, and I'm starting to inventory my wardrobe, wondering if there's anything I can own that I could use to make a Hogwarts uniform of my own. I also attempt to convince Artie to let me draw a scar on his forehead, albeit through the use of some extremely dirty tactics (I plead the fifth).

"No, Tee." Artie's voice is firm, even as I'm systematically plowing through his closet for white dress shirts and gray slacks. (And ties, and sweater vests.)

"Just a little scar?" I beg, even as I'm examining his collection of ties. "Geez, Artie. You own almost enough stuff to make a Harry Potter costume."

"No scars, and aren't we supposed to be watching the fifth movie?" Artie whines. "Come on, it has Tonks in it. You like her."

"I'm getting ideas!" I laugh. "I found a pattern for the robes online, and I've got all that black fabric, and if I found a gray skirt..." I trail off, taking measurements mentally.

Artie rolls his eyes at me. "Does that mean we're dressing up for the premiere?"

"Of course." Nonchalant, I keep rummaging through the contents of my boyfriend's wardrobe. "Should I be worried you own approximately a dozen of the exact same kind of white dress shirt?"

"No?"

I take two. "I'm using them," I reply breezily, adding them to my bag. "And ties! You have a Hufflepuff tie! Or close enough. And a Gryffindor tie! This is absurdly exciting, Artie."

"Nerd." Artie wheels up close to me and pulls me into his lap. Placing a gentle kiss on the nape of my neck, he grins. "You're such a nerd, Tee."

"This again?" I roll my eyes, but make no attempt to get up. "Does that mean you'll let me draw a lightning bolt scar on your forehead?"

"No."

"Okay, fine." I grin. "So, are we going to start the fifth movie now?"

Artie kisses the other side of my neck. "Maybe. But I found something more interesting to do."

"Movie. I can't believe I'm saying this, but movie." This time, I do pull myself out of his lap, and I move around to another familiar spot; the back of his chair. "We need to finish what we've started. We're over halfway done."

Artie pouts. I can't see it, because I'm standing behind him, but I definitely know that he's pouting at me. (I would check, but if I saw the pout for myself, I'd probably cave and then we'd never get to that movie tonight.) Grinning again, I push him over to the den, my messenger bag (with all of the costume pieces I stole from his closet) securely at my side.

We settle in comfortably on the sofa, and Artie reaches to turn on the TV. "Last chance," he says seriously. "Once I press play, we're watching it for the next two and a half hours."

"Sure. Just like we didn't hit the pause button last time," I reply, dryly. "Let's get _Order of the Phoenix _started already!"

Artie laughs at me, but he obliges, pressing play on the remote. "And this one is nice and dark, right up your alley."

"You got that right." I grin and rest my head in his lap comfortably; his hand automatically goes to toy with my hair. (The normalcy of this makes me grin. A lot.)

"So," I say casually. "Order of the Phoenix?"

"That's the rumor," replies Artie dryly. "I was going to suggest other things, but you insisted.... so here we are."

"Yeah, yeah." I turn the movie on, allowing myself to be instantly transported to the trial of Harry Potter. "The Ministry is kind of cool."

"Agreed." Artie runs his hands through my hair some more. "And hey, this movie introduces Tonks. She's one of your favorites."

"Yeah!" I say brightly. "It's a shame that the movie cuts and hacks and slashes her part to barely more than a cameo, though. Her romance with Lupin is going to come out of left-freaking-field."

The hand that's playing with my hair stills. "Tonks hasn't shown up yet, Tee. How do you know that her role is so tiny?"

"Er. I might've looked up a few things on IMDB?" I say, shrugging my shoulders.

"You looked up spoilers?" Artie looks at me, aghast. "Tina. How could you."

"I didn't do it on purpose," I quickly explain. "I was just trying to figure out what actress was playing Tonks, and well, it just... sort of _happened."_

The look Artie gives me in reply is skeptical at best.

I roll my eyes at stick my tongue out at him. "It's not my fault you're such a purist. I didn't look them up on purpose. Spoilers, well, they sometimes happen. Even to the best of us."

Artie pokes me lightly in the shoulder. "I know, but, I thought you were better than that he says," only sounding a tiny bit hurt. (The rest of the emotion that I can pick out from his tone is amused, thankfully).

"Right," I say dryly. "Just like you didn't beg me for news about the_ American Idol_ premiere."

"That hardly counts when they air it live. There aren't that many spoilers, Tee." Artie smiles wryly at me . "You're going to have to pick a better example."

"Oh fine. You'll be the purist, I'll be happily spoiled." I shrug my shoulders.

"Did you spoil yourself for the rest of the movies now?"

"No," I reply, sounding downtrodden. "I should have, though. Just so I could be all smug and self-important."

Artie laughs. "Tina! I've already seen all six movies. You can't spoil me."

"Well, there are the two movies that are still in production," I point out. "The two halves to Book 7. I could probably find a few spoilers on them if I wanted to."

"I've read the book already," points out Artie.

"So have I," I reply dryly. "Is it really spoiling myself if I've already read the source material?"

"...you might have a point," Artie reluctantly concedes.

"Yay," I say, my tone a mix of smug, sarcastic, and triumphant. "Now that that's taken care of can we--oh. My. I love Luna. She has a very awesome vibe to her. Very ditzy, but in an artistic, thoughtful way. Observant."

"Luna's always fun," says Artie brightly. "Kind of out in space, but always good for something interesting, and occasionally wise."

"Like Brittany?" I say, with a shrug.

"Definitely. They're pretty similar," agrees Artie. "I don't think Luna'd skip out on a high-five, though."

"Luna would have no idea what a high five probably is," I point out dryly. "So, no, you'd still be out of luck, Artie."

Artie naps his fingers together jokingly. "Darn. There go my nefarious plans to take over the world through high-fives."

I snort. "Yeah. Stick with the sarcastic one liners and the witty nerdy references. That's your strength."

"Nice to know that you think my sense of humor needs work," says Artie dryly. "True love, right there."

"Like you never mock my sense of humor?" I roll my eyes at him. "Oh well, I'm sure that, hmm, that is one very lurid bow." I point at the TV set by way of explanation.

"Umbridge!" Artie smirks at me. "I think they adapted her pretty well for the screen, don't you think so?"

"Worse than I could have ever possibly imagined," I say sincerely, adding a playful shudder for emphasis. "She looks frightening."

"That's part of the charm. Or the appeal? We're not supposed to like her," says Artie, looking a tiny bit confused.

"Umbridge is not charming or appealing," I say with a laugh. "But I get it. She's supposed to be like creepy cute."

"She still dresses like a ten year old," adds Artie.

I nod enthusiastically. "Like a ten year old with a penchant for disgusting amounts of pink."

"And tea parties," adds Artie. "Frilly, _precious_ tea parties."

"Precious!" I laugh. "Yes. Exactly. That is the perfect word to describe the kitschy disaster that is Dolores Umbridge."

"Glad you approve," says Artie, looking pleased with himself. "And I'm sure you'll find the Threstrals fascinating beyond belief."

"Am I getting predictable?" I ask curiously. "I'm going to have to work on that."

"Just predictable to me," amends Artie. "That's not so bad, is it?"

"I guess not," I admit, secretly thrilled (although, I would never, ever admit this out loud). "And, oh, Threstreals. And Luna. That's kind of doubly awesome right there."

Artie beams at me, kissing my nose playfully. "I love it when I'm right."

I kiss him on the cheek. "Don't make a habit out of it, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," he replies dutifully. "I'll be right, you can be right. We will share in the political correctness."

I laugh at Artie. "Yeah. We're both right. We're dating each other aren't we? That indicates some kind of right-ness on both our parts."

"Good point, you're so smart." Artie's hands start playing with my hair again.

"Yes, I am, thanks for noticing," I say proudly, staring at the screen again curiously.

"Be nice. Your ego is showing," says Artie bluntly.

"You were the one that just pumped it up, don't tell me you're trying to drag it down now."

Artie doesn't reply, except to rub my upper arm in a comforting matter, and this works well enough as a response for me. We quiet down enough to continue watching the movie for a little while longer. It's not bad, but I don't know.

"It doesn't seem as charming as some of the earlier movies," I say casually near the end of the movie. "The stuff with Dubledore's Army was interesting, but... the movies just seem very, like fan candy?" I shrug, not sure exactly how to say it. "Like it would be hard for people who didn't know the books to get into the movies as well."

"Well, the books themselves are a lot darker, and a lot longer," points out Artie. We both pause to appreciatively watch Umbridge get carted away by the Centaurs. "It'd be impossible to cram all of the stuff in the books into a movie of any reasonable length. That's why they're adaptations, Tee."

I sit up, leaning my head on Artie's shoulder, thinking. "Yeah. But the adaptations could be better. Or maybe a mini series? Although five isn't ...horrible. There is Bellatrix."

"Do you like Bellatrix?" asks Artie.

"Kind of?" I shrug. "She just seems all over the place. She's supposed to be crazy. But. She's creepy and stuff. And not even in a way that I exactly understand. Her motivations are like, all over the place."

"I thought you'd like her better," admits Artie. "She's very dark, which is kind of your thing."

"Dark, but..." I trail off. "I do like Bellatrix. She had so much potential as a villain. But then. She didn't? It his hard to explain!"

"Yeah, and she had the misfortune of taking out your favorite character," admits Artie. "So that makes sense, really."

"Oh, that too," I remember belatedly. "I don't know how I'm going to watch the Battle of Hogwarts!"

"Good thing that's not until the second 7th movie," says Artie, kissing my cheek. "You can moan and whine about it with me then. Because I'm sure we'll have lots of things to argue about."

"Sirius!" I shout. "No!"

"Ooops. Climax." Artie sighs and wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Sirius is definitely more up your alley, character wise."

"Just... oh!" I shake my head. "Sirius. He never got properly exonerated. It's very tragic."

"Tragedy happens." Artie squeezes my shoulders gently.

"Right, right." I kiss his cheek as the end credits roll. "Super duper prophecy complete. So," I say brightly, "Want to go get something to eat. We can discuss the merits of Sirius and Lupin versus Lupin and Tonks."

Artie raises an eyebrow. "Or?"

"Or we could get started on those costumes for Thursday night," I add, my tone still fairly chipper.

"Or?" Artie frowns at me.

"Or we could make out," I say, with an overly dramatic sigh and a wry grin.

Artie laughs and leans in to kiss me. "Now we're talking."


	6. Artie, Tina, and the Half Blood Prince

Author's Note: I watched HP7: Part I this morning in IMAX. And loved every second of it—much more than I liked the book, actually (we're not going to talk about my opinions of HP7 the book). Basically, this means, I've fired up Word because of this and I shall attempt to write a bit more. Part 7a is also on the writing block, look for that once the spoiler rush fades somewhat.

Generic disclaimer rundown: 1) Spoilers though Half-Blood Prince. 2) Definitely, definitely, _definitely _AU as of Season 2, and probably AU for the Back 9 of Season 1. Got all that? Good, great awesome.

* * *

**Wednesday**

Artie is slightly offended I spend most of the sixth movie finishing up our Hogwarts costumes while watching it instead of lying on his stomach like I usually do. (I make it up to him later.)

Slughorn graces the screen, dragon blood and all, as I hum along with the familiar theme tune and carefully keep hand stitching the robes. Sure, I could just buy robes, like I'd bought all the rest of the costume, but robes are stupid expensive online. Besides, I actually like to sew, so this isn't so bad. I find the process very nearly relaxing. (Save the pouting boyfriend on the sofa, of course.)

"Nice armchair," I say, my fingers deftly working their way through the needle and thread. "Too bad he's not so fantastic of a teacher."

Artie sighs. "You have to admit the dragon's blood was a decent touch. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be safe. Things just keep getting darker and nastier from here on out."

"Oh, so it turns into a fantastic array of kill 'em all?" I'm not wholly amused, but keep stitching and watching. I think about digging out my sewing machine, but that thing is loud and I have a nasty tendency to try and sew my fingers together, so yeah. Sticking with the hand stitching.

"I'm not saying a word." Artie pouts. "Not unless you join me on the sofa."

"As soon as I finish your robe," I say, "it's not my fault you're so-oh my god. Why does Narcissa Malfoy have skunk hair? Two tone hair. Whatever the hell it is. Did she let Draco use all the hair bleach again? Isn't there some kind of spell for that crap? Because the skunk do looks absolutely horrible. Horrific. Nightmarish. Terrible."

"Why don't you tell us how you really feel," says Artie dryly. "Go on. I didn't think you'd be so wigged out by a character's hair color, of all things."

"It's personal," I mutter, pointing with my needle to my own brightly streaked hair. (Okay, so mine are fake streaks, thanks to a beautiful thing called extensions, but seriously, beyond the point.) "I take personal offense at badly done hair."

"Uh-huh. Sure." Artie rolls his eyes at me. "If I didn't know better, I would think that critique would have been something to come out of _Kurt's_ mouth, not yours."

I'm considering a smart-alec reply, but Fred and George's joke shop appears on the screen, and that's enough to distract me for the moment. "If only all of those bits and tricks were real. They'd be so cool. Peruvian Darkness Powder."

"We'd be able to retaliate," replies Artie. "A slushie to the face? Oh, here, why don't you try some of these puking pastilles instead. It's a delicious, delicious candy."

"That you'll be seriously regretting having in twenty minutes or less." I chuckle heartily and set my needle and thread aside. "That'd be nice."

"Do you wish you could fight back some days?" asks Artie quietly. "Against the bullies?"

"It's nice to dream, but I don't think I could actually confront anyone. That's too much, even for me to think about." I make a face and try not to think about it too hard. It just gets me sad, and epic movie marathons are not the time or place to be sad.

"Well, there's Luna. Luna makes everything better." Artie smiles and pats his lap, which only makes me want to lay my head there. (So I do.)

"That's true," I admit. "She's so delightfully dotty. I think I like her off the wall approach to life. Even if she is a space case. She's a very nice space case."

"Someone's a fan," says Artie. He pokes me in the stomach, which makes me giggle and slap his hand away.

"Well, why not?" I reply. "She's sweet, goofy, and has a very ...unique sense of style. There is so much to love about her, I'll have you know."

"I'm sure that you are right. She's sweet. However, I am a bigger fan of Tina Cohen Cho Chang." Artie smiles and pokes my stomach again.

"Now that was ridiculous." I roll over to my side and prepares to be entertained by Ron and Harry's attempts at potion-making 101. She raises an eyebrow when the Felix Felicis is revealed.

"Oh, the plot device of liquid luck." Artie tangles his hand through my hair. "I kind of thought it was a cheap trick to include that in this book, especially given... her take on matters in book seven."

"The aforementioned kill 'em all." I nod and resist the urge to close my eyes. Artie's lap is so comfortable, and _Half-Blood Prince_ wasn't my favorite by a long shot. But I'm determined to get through the movie, so I can be formally and properly educated before the opening of Seven. So I sit up and stretch and promptly roll off the sofa.

"Are you okay?" asks Artie. He stares down at me from his spot on the sofa, hand on the pause button.

I nod, sitting on the floor and reaching for my needle and thread. "Nothing's wounded but my pride. Now restart that movie, okay? I have a strange and sudden urge to see Ron attempt to be a Keeper and fail miserably at it. I know that scene's coming up next. Won-won!"

"Somebody's excited."

"Well, Cormac first," I say. "But the Won-Won part is the really awesome thing."

"It's hilarious and awful, that whole romantic subplot," says Artie brightly. "Do you think that we were that bad when it came to romance and stuff?"

"We had our moments," I assure him, "but I never got the fool idea in my head to call you Art-Fart or whatever the hell Artie would be in baby talk, so I think that makes us okay."

"The best you can come up with is Art-Fart?"

"I was thinking under pressure, okay?"

Artie tosses a candy wrapper at me. This of course, has me tossing a piece of scrap fabric at him. He catches it nimbly and throws it back in my face. The two of us repeat the gesture in a teasing back and forth for a few minutes before the scrap piece of fabric gets tangled up in my hair barrette, and rips when I go to yank it off.

"Okay, that's enough of that," I say smoothly, tossing the scrap back into the pile and going back to work on his costume. "What do you think of ...Ravenclaw, right? I'll have to find my blue fabric paint."

"You are going all out on this aren't you?" Artie sounds vaguely awestruck, and I grin at him.

"Yep!" I say cheerfully, proudly digging out the yellow and black Hufflepuff tie I'd made for myself earlier that day. "Isn't it awesome? Fake Hedwig doll was wearing it earlier, which might be the tie's permanent home after this movie."

"I think you are way too attached to that fake Hedwig doll."

I giggle. "Jealous?"

"Nope," says Artie proudly. "You like me better."

"This is definitely, really true." I return to my costume-making. "Also, I promise I like you so much that I won't ever send a flock of killer birds on you if I get upset for no apparent reason."

"That's a comfort," says Artie with a roll of his eyes. "So, does this mean that all I have to fear is your blade of equality?"

Cue dramatic blushing on my part. "Well, maybe. But only if I'm upset again. Everyone needs a gimmick." This is when I decide that the sewing and the movie are extremely, exceptionally interesting. That way I don't have to look Artie in the eyes until my ears stop burning.

Half-Blood Prince ticks on in relative silence, not necessarily awkward, just not exactly as comfortable as it was twenty minutes earlier. Desperate to try and get back some semblance of order, I decide to comment. "Oh hey there, love potion gone horribly astray. Romilda Vane? Seriously. Ron, tsk, tsk. Even Lavender is at least ...nice?"

"Something tells me you don't think all that highly of either girl, Tee."

"That obvious, apparently."

"Yes, that obvious." Artie sits up on the sofa, patting the spot next to him invitingly. "Come here, you."

Grateful for the invitation, I curl up with my head on is shoulder. He wraps his arm around my waist, and watching the rest of the movie is a lot nicer. Not that I necessarily pay attention, especially when Artie's hand moves slightly south to rest on the top of my thigh, but I'm definitely not complaining one bit.

"Oh, by the way," says Artie before he leans in to give me a kiss, "Movie Seven? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? Guess what? The one we're going to see Thursday night is only Part One."

"What? Part one?" I give him a curious look. "You mean they divided the movie up into two parts?"

"Yes, exactly. So we get to do it all again in about six months." Artie beams at me and looks overly excited.

"So the magic isn't over yet." I bite my lip and think this over carefully. "Cool. Does this mean we'll get to do it again before Part Two?"

Artie gives me a light, playful kiss. "Definitely, yes. We can have even more fun when we marathon it again, woman."

"Fun, if that's what you want to call it," I say brightly with a playful wink. "Or we can call it being total geeks."

"Well that too, of course." Artie looks completely over the moon.

I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow. "Fine, but you're getting the tickets. You did get the tickets for the midnight showing, right?"

Artie gives me a "duh" expression. "No. We're going to sneak into the theater like ninjas. Yes. I bought the tickets three days ago."

"Oh!" I grin. "Awesome boyfriend."

"Of course, woman."

"So," I say carefully. "What did you think of the ending? I thought that Dumbledore had... bound Harry so he couldn't try anything. That seems like a major difference, and kind of a ...not so awesome missing plot point."

"I kiss you and now you decide you want to discuss the movie that we just saw." Artie groans.

"You're the film geek. I'm just along for the ride," I reply. "But basically, Snape is odd, Narcissa needs a dye job, Malfoy ...is Malfoy, Ginny isn't my favorite by a long shot, Lavender is amusing, Luna is awesome, totally awesome, and ...is it bad I'm not too sad Dumbledore died?"

"Interesting summarization." Artie chuckles. "No, remember what you said. Seven is the one where everyone and anyone dies for all sorts of reasons. Dumbledore was supposed to die. The mentor needs to pass on so that the hero can grow beyond the lessons he was taught. Its all about proving one's self worth and completing the hero's journey. A very typical storytelling plot."

"You know, it's kind of hot when you go all film geek on me."

"It... is?" Artie's voice cracks slightly.

I shrug. "Kind of. Also a little boring, but it's nice to see you so passionate about something."

"I'm passionate about you?" he says.

"More like my passion gets you all worked up, Artie."

He shrugs. "That's not a bad thing."

"If you say so." I smile at him. "So now what? We've officially made it through six out of seven... well, now eight. But six out of the seven that are out or will be out in the near future. Thursday is going to be crazy."

"And fun. Don't forget the fun, Tina."

"Absolutely not. All of this Harry Potter mania almost makes me want to reread some of the books. Almost."

"Just almost?" Artie gives me a smirk.

"Some of those books are total doorstoppers, Art." I shake my head. "But I might. I can't believe they practically wrote Tonks out of the movies. And Bill and Fleur! I wonder how they're going to write themselves out of all of these plot holes in time for Seven?"

"Seven, part one," corrects Artie. "And I guess they will. I mean, the trailers seemed pretty awesome. Besides, splitting it up into two parts can probably only mean good things in terms of getting a more cohesive storyline."

"They probably should have started two-part movies after Prisoner of Azkaban," I say thoughtfully. "But you do have a point."

"I always have a point, woman." Artie reaches for his cell phone. "My parents are out tonight. What do you say to ordering a pizza and making out on the sofa while we watch some of the special features?"

"What is it with you and the special features?" I giggle and poke him in the stomach. "But okay, sure. Only you're buying the pizza, got it?"

Artie grins at me. "As you wish, my dearest Tina Cohen Cho Chang."

"Please don't ever call me that in public."


End file.
